I have been told about it, but I haven’t really felt it until now. Today, in the quiet of my home, I’ve felt more love and peace than I have had in a long time.
Being able to speak out loud inside my home with my music playing—asking God to join me in this small dance or just reading His words in the comfort of my own bed—feels amazing.
Sometimes the noise of this world makes the quiet time feel dangerous. I can’t tell you how many times at lunch, or right before bed, I sat by myself and still felt the anger or anxiety of this world, even when I had nothing in front of me to cause it.
A part of me must ask if this is what men feel like, because they are often portrayed this way: in the stillness, so centered and rooted. It is unlike myself, who usually waits for the other shoe to drop or for when I’m needed next. I guess my life has had that effect on me. Maybe it’s my fiancé, or God’s pushing, but I am finally finding this stillness I’ve never known.
Today’s stillness has been the most pleasurable by far. Making a new sweet treat, putting away the phone, following directions, and just speaking to Him. “God, guide my hands,” I said as I worked on that still-sticky batch of homemade peppermint patties. “Let’s put this batch in the fridge and I’ll make them this way.” Silly, I know. But there is such freedom in those small choices.
Then, I stopped just to look around with eyes of gratefulness. Yes, my home isn’t the best. It’s cluttered and I need to clean, but I can’t see all of that right now. Instead of the heartache and pain, I just see the love and the laughter.
As I sit here and write this to you today, my eyes are wet and blurry, yet my smile hasn’t faded. As I type, my prayer for you—my readers—is simply this:
In the heat of your own personal fires, He is there. He has seen every human from every angle. He’s seen through the birth and death of our greatest enemy to the innocence of His own Son. From our neighbor’s loss of a child to His own creations turning against Him.
Try to just stop and read that billboard, or that poster at your friend’s house. Read this post. Maybe even listen to the words of a stranger. You never know when you’re entertaining angels. God sees all of it, and He loves you.
Give yourself grace and time. I’m 40 years old, and I’m just now learning how to love myself. I’m learning that it’s okay that my environment makes me different now. When you are being everything for everyone else, you lose sight of times like this.You are enough.
You are loved. You are that lovely lady or that silly man who helps us find our own inner strength because your “faith” shines like a billboard, even when you aren’t trying. Keep pushing on. I’ll end my prayer for you with a simple statement:
May His peace bring you peace.
Today's pen is tomorrows pages 