As I look back, I realize that perhaps I am the odd one. I look at you and see no other. I feel a knot of shame in the pit of my stomach if I even entertain the thought of being with someone else. Am I broken?
As a human, I feel the natural instinct to procreate and the pull of desire. I feel my cycle as a woman, my body’s chemistry telling me when it is time. But thoughts of you keep me from giving in to anyone else. Does that mean I’m broken?
I never understood the ideal of “one man and one woman” because I never had an example of it to follow. But now, I finally understand. Does this mean I am doomed to walk this world unable to imagine any body against mine but yours? Am I broken if, should the tides turn and you are no longer mine, my body feels as though it is no longer my own? Does it mean that, along with my heart, my body will be broken too?
As troubling as these thoughts may sound, they make me realize the wonders of God and the human soul. To take a human body—with all its natural instincts to survive and procreate—and turn it into a singular focus on just one person… that can only be inspired by God. He is better than all of us.
He creates the need to keep one’s soul pure and in the light, for in the darkness, the soul is lost. I believe our souls represent God within us. So, if I am “broken” as a human, I am glad that my soul makes me whole through Him.
I will continue to strive to be a Godly woman. My man will possess a treasure that only God can provide—a gift beyond all measure. This is love in its purest form: to take human nature and go against it, rising above instinct to truly be one with another.
Today's pen is tomorrows pages 